...I'd like to propose a toast.
Here's to the ladies who lunch
Ev'rybody laugh.
Lounging in their caftans and planning a brunch
On their own behalf
Off to the gym, then to a fitting,
Claiming they're fat,
And looking grim 'cause they've been sitting
Choosing a hat.
Does anyone still wear a hat?
I'll drink to that.
Here's to the girls who stay smart.
Aren't they a gas?
Rushing to their classes in optical art,
Wishing it would pass.
Another long, exhausting day,
Another thousand dollars,
A matinee: a Pinter play,
Perhaps a piece of Mahler's.
I'll drink to that...
And one for Mahler!
Here's to the girls who play wife.
Aren't they too much?
Keeping house, but clutching a copy of Life
Just to keep in touch.
The ones who follow the rules
And meet themselves at the schools
Too busy to know that they're fools...
Aren't they a gem?
I'll drink to them!
Let's all drink to them!
And here's to the girls who just watch,
Aren't they the best?
When they get depressed, it's a bottle of scotch,
Plus a little jest.
Another chance to disapprove,
Another brilliant zinger.
Another reason not to move,
Another vodka stinger.
Aaaahhhh- I'll drink to that.
So here's to the girls on the go,
Ev'rybody tries.
Look into their eyes and you'll see what they know:
Ev'rybody dies.
A toast to that invincible bunch,
The dinosaurs surviving the crunch,
Let's hear it for the ladies who lunch:
Ev'rybody rise!
Rise!
Rise!
Rise!
Stephen Sondheim, Company, 1970